Wednesday, August 29, 2012

35 Word Pitch

So I'm attemtping to condense my adult UF into a 35-word or less pitch. I've narrowed it down to two choices, and I'm looking for feedback. Please vote on which one you think works better. If you have comments or suggestions, please feel free to unleash your inner editor in the comments.

Title: A Taste of Blood
Genre: Urban Fantasy

Pitch Number One (34 words):
When Alex Callahan’s werewolf father reveals her friend’s murder, Alex knows he’s the key to avoiding a brewing supernatural war. But he’s been dead for thirteen years and no one else believes he’s back.

Pitch Number Two (35 words):
Twin brother joins local pack? Normal. Dead dad walks into a bar? Not really. Investigating makes human Alex the next target in a brewing supernatural war she can prevent. If only the pack believed her…

  • Option 1
  • Option 2
  • Neither, they both suck
  • I wrote one better in the comments.
More polls: snabbIä

1 comment:

Danielle La Paglia said...

Option 2 is much stronger. Option 1 is a little confusing and I read the book. I do think you should add "werewolf" to the first line (as in "werewolf pack") so it's clear what kind of supes we're dealing with. You could also add "only" to the next to the last line "...a brewing supernaturual war only she can prevent." The reason I say that is because at first I read "can" as a typo, thinking it should've been "can't".

Feel free to email me if this doesn't make sense. :)